42, My 2 cents in People's Square
We receive feedback every day, verbal or non-verbal, positive or negative, no matter if you want it or not. Negative feedback is hard to accept because we take it personally. There are lots of emotions attached. We think we are not good enough, feel frustrated, and look ourselves as failure.
But if we learn to handle negative feedback well, it’s like seeing a diamond in the rough. Now read carefully, because here are some real concrete steps to better deal with negative feedback:
1. Decide who you will listen to
Some people enjoy giving negative feedback. Is the person giving you feedback just trying to get you down? If so, block them with a smile.
2. Set your intention
Before listening to feedback, set the intention that you will let go of your identity (as senior manager, expert…). This allows you open up to any feedback that is trying to help you
3. Put your guard down
When we listen to negative feedback, we often shift to defense-mode automatically. All we focus on is how to defend ourselves and ignore the rest of feedback. Detaching our feelings from negative feedback allows us to open up and take valuable suggestion from it.
Remember, there is no failure, only feedback. What was the last piece of negative feedback you received? Maybe from a boss or a client or a loved one? Don’t feel bad yet! First, go through the 3 simple steps I outlined above and see how it works for you. Do you have any more advice on how to handle feedback? Email me: Olivia@revtc.com !
Olivia Xiao is a Life Coach and a living example of personal development. She is based in Shanghai.
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